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17 December 2004 @ 08:03 pm
Some assistance please .... =)  
Last Friday (a week ago), I went out to eat with some friends @ Johnny Carino's. There was this waiter, and there was undeniable chemistry between us.
He would look at me everytime that he would pass by, and I him.

So, I got up the courage and walked up to him, and handed him my number.
He introduced himself, and we chatted for a few.
He had to get back to work, so he said, "Call you sometime??"
I said "definitely".

A week has gone by, and no phone call.

He was definitely into me that night so I wasn't sure what happened.

*shrugs shoulders*

So, I just went there to eat dinner with my Mom.

He must start work @ 6 p.m. because he came in shortly before we left.

He walked up to the table and said, "Hey Kim!" I said "Hey" and he kept on walking.

I wasn't going to bring up the fact that he still had not called.

Then, when we were leaving, he walked by us (I didn't look up at him, even though I knew that he was walking by).

He stood at the end of the section that we were in, and made sure I saw him & he waved good bye to me.

WTF?!?!? Why be so interested and NOT CALL!?!?!? I just don't get it.
I mean, he even remembered my name.

HELP ME!?!?!?!?
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Doctor Dre & Tu Pac - California Love
enteros on June 1st, 2005 12:04 pm (UTC)
Hi Kim,

You can never really know for sure, and from my experience, men and women are more alike than they are different when it comes to something like this. Everyone is insecure and uncertain on some level, no matter how well they are able to hide it from themselves or others, and although I'm sure there may be exceptions, I don't think that anyone really wants to be hurt or hurt anyone else which, ironically, we seem to end up doing anyway more often than not. In focusing on this uncertainty, you're basically giving your power away to something that doesn't even exist... to a transient situation in your life, the seed of which you carry to the next situation which seems similar to this.

Look at it this way... you approached him, gave him your number, and struck up a conversation with him. That takes a lot of guts. It really could be just about anything, but it has more to do with him than it does you... it isn't personal, and you could spend forever trying to figure it out and beating yourself up over it. Don't do that. It isn't worth losing your self esteem over.

I know it hurts. I have been there so many times and have spent much of my life feeling suicidal more often than not and actually made several attempts over it, convincing myself that there was something wrong with me and that women just aren't attracted to me, and no one could convince me otherwise.

I have done this myself for various reasons, as well as had it done to me, and sometimes it is because I am extremely attracted to someone and just don't want to be hurt again, or I am attracted to someone but then think about it later and decide for one reason or other not to call... maybe I felt that our personalities or whatever just didn't seem quite right and just didn't have time to think about it while I was talking to the person. The possibilities are endless, you never can tell, and the truth is that it actually reveals more of how you feel and what you think about yourself than anything else. Be good to yourself, and reward yourself for having the courage to at least try.

I know it isn't easy and is easier said than done, and all I can really do is tell you about my own experience which may or may not be true for you or anybody else. It really isn't personal, so try not to take it personally and move on.

Hope this helps.

enteros on June 1st, 2005 12:47 pm (UTC)
I just wanted to add that last night, I watched Stephen King's Storm of the Century on the Sci-Fi channel, and I think that is part of what really hit me and triggered some insights, leading to a breakthrough.

"Hell is repetition."
- Andre Linoge



There was one scene in the film where Michael Anderson (Ralphies Father) figured out that Andre's last name "Linoge" spells "Legion" if you re-arrange the letters. But that was not spoken of anymore in the film.